Life is frail and we should save one more for Jesus that's what motivates me. I know myself very well and I jolly well know that I'm weak in the flash in most area of my life. After seeing lost of my school mate it sets me into a series of thinking and it come to a point that sometime is better for God to take a person home when he still have God in his heart so that he can enjoy everlasting life in the Kingdom of God.
God knows my past , my present and my future and He knows what lies ahead. Due to my weakness and based on past experiences I'm really afraid that history will repeat itself. I don't want to leave God and I cannot for I enjoyed the personal relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ which I love it.
However due to my weakness and I do not have a clue what lies ahead for me and I always pray this prayer to God if I do fall in the future I have requested God to take me home before it happens. I feel that this is the best way although its painful for those around me but its necessary. This is the only way that I can be sure I'll be in the loving arms of Jesus Christ when I get to the Kingdom of God.
Am I being selfish for what I'm currently doing by shutting myself from the secular world? The answer is yes because of my personal unresolved issues and problems and this is work around solution until God gives me a permanent solution. I feel the sense of peace and I really felt happy being with God's children, serving ministries in Church and attending CE courses and I wish this will go on until my time is up.
However I have to be realistic and I may have to rise up to fulfill the Great Commission until I'm ready and have my personal problems and issues resolved I'm not going anywhere but staying in the House Of God. As for missions I will still go if called upon and also my heart's desire to experience missions and going to the land of Israel at least once in my life time. I always have a backup plan in all areas of my life and my backup plan for my spiritual well being is a prayer.
Here it goes "Dear Heavenly Father I know all things work together for good and for those who love You and who are called to your purpose Rom 8:28 I know I'm weak in the flash and can easily fall into temptations and I do not know what lies ahead of me and I know for myself if I fall I may fall even deeper and I don't ruled out the possibility turning myself away from God. I rather God to take me Home if that is going to happen to me. Father I know you love me and you will not allow me to fall, your mercy endures forever take me home before I fall into darkness this is my prayer and I asked of this in Jesus 's name "
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